Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

My birthday was in April. I've always wanted to be 36. I've thought that my whole adult life. Why? Well, I always felt my mom was so gorgeous at the age of 36. So when I turned 36 something magical was going to happen. Guess what?? ...that didn't happen. I think about my age every day. If you were rounding the number 36 to the nearest ten, you would have to round my age to 40. Ugh..how depressing.

I look at myself in the mirror everyday. Is that a new wrinkle? Hmmm...I wonder how I'd look with Botox? Can I afford it? Maybe I need a lift? Or some Nip N Tuck? Which procedure is the cheapest? Which one should I save for first? Is that a grey hair? Maybe I should darken my hair? No! I'll keep highlighting it so you can't see grey. Should I let my hair grow out? Or keep it shoulder length? Don't old women keep their hair short? ......and the list goes on and on.

Over the weekend I was in Vegas for a trade show. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do in the evening. I've seen a few shows there. I decided on seeing "Menopause, the musical". My mom and dad saw it a few months ago and raved about it. I got up Sat morning and stood in line to get the tickets half off. I went over to Macy's and got a new dress to wear to the show. ( I KNOW...anything for a new outfit!) I headed on over to the show and texted my mom. I told her I got tickets to the show. She assured me I was going to LOVE it, and told me to call her when it was over.

I called her immediately when it was over.

The phone rings, mom picks it up, "Did you just love it honey?"

I was practically in tears, "Are you kidding? You thought THAT was funny?? I thought it was supposed to be a comedy? It was more of a HORROR show!"

My mom just chuckles, "You didn't like it?"

My heart is beating fast, "No mom, I HATED it! It was so awful! How could you think it was funny? I'm actually frightened now! THIS is what I have to look forward to? Being fat, I mean, I've fought my whole life with diets. When I get older no diets are going to help. Then there is the hot flashes, and mood swings. OH! and what about peeing your pants?? It's just utter chaos. Mom...this is not funny. I don't think I want to live long enough to go thru this!!! I'm actually scared."

I then proceeded to tell her that there were a lot of middle-aged women and men in there and they were laughing so hard. I wanted to crawl under my seat and just cry! Being closer to 40 is scary, but the thought of this in another 10 years is just downright HORRIBLE!

My mom told me that it happens gradually. Great. Is this like how I was complaining last week that I went to the store and forgot what I was there for?? (I've been reading a book on Alzheimer's and every symptom in there, I think I have.) My mom told me not to worry, I too will think it's funny and I will have my best friends going thru it with me at the same time. Somehow though this doesn't seem funny. :(

I think that they should have a warning for women who are not menopausal, before going to see menopause. It's not for the faint! Nor is it for women who dont think they will age gracefully.

Strike One....Ball.....and???

The last week or so it's been unusually cold weather for this time of year. So when I had to drag around kids to different events, I wasn't looking forward to it. Piano 4-4:30. T-ball 5:30-7. Softball 6:45-8:30. When it started raining at 4 I thought to myself, "great! our games are going to be cancelled and I can go home!!" I kept checking my blackberry. What?? No texts cancelling the games? No emails either? This is crazy!! It's pouring! (Even lightning and thunder) There is NO WAY we are going to be playing tonight! It was definitely one of those days that I would rather be at home in my bed with a good book. Ahhhh...but no such luck!

Now...sometimes, not too often, I feel guilty. Especially when my daughter says "do I have to go to practice". I gently reply, "What do you mean you don't want to go? Your team depends on you girlfriend. They NEED you!". I know....my poor girlfriend really doesnt like playing. She's been with the same team for 3 years, which she loves the team, and camraderie of it all. She just isn't that athletically inclined. She mostly plays outfield (mostly so she doesn't hurt herself in the infield. LOL...she even ducks when balls are coming her way.)

This year softball has been a challenge for all the girls. It's the first year that they have been hitting strictly from pitching. The last couple years they have had someone pitch to them, but if they got 4 balls, then they would get to hit off the tee. My poor girlfriend never hits it, but she is a trooper and gets up there to give it a whack. We've even had family games practicing hitting. I tell her, "if you can hit the ball off your brothers' pitches, you can hit off these girls!"

Last night Girlfriend got up there. All eyes were on her. The ball comes down the pipe and she swung!! She whacked that ball. OH MY GOSH!!!! She hit the ball!!!!!!!!! I was jumping up and down yelling, RUN!!!" She was so shocked!!!! She hit the ball off the pitch!!!!! You should have seen the look of pride on her face!! What an EGO-BOOSTER. Her smile was so beautiful! It lit up the whole field. And guess what I was doing??? That's right! You guessed it! Tears of joy were rolling down my face! I could barely say thank you as the parents were congratulating me on my daughter's very first hit! It was so darn exciting!

When I walked over to girlfriend as she came in, to congratulate her, she had the biggest smile, and tears were rolling down her face. She said "did you see that mommy? I hit the ball".

"I know baby girl. I was so DARN PROUD of you".

Are they retarded?

My mom went to Illinois a couple weeks ago. She has volunteered to take my niece and nephew for the summer so that my sister can go to school full time, and work full time without having to worry about her kids. She arrived back in town on a Thursday. I called her on Saturday. She said, "OHH...I am exhausted watching these kids! How long have they been here? When are you going to come and get them so they can visit you?"

I chuckle to myself. "Ummm...they've been here for 2 days mom. Would you like me to get them tomorrow, and I will keep them for a week?"

"YES, I'll get them packed", she replied.

I picked up the two lil precious ones. My niece was crying before we even took off. She didn't like the fact that I told her not to whine to me about sharing. Ughhh..this is going to be a L-O-N-G week!!! She even said she wanted to stay with grandma! LOL I promptly told her that she has the coolest aunt in the world, and she will be begging to stay with me, heck....probably to even move in with me.

On Monday morning I got out some of my kids paints, crayons, and basically art supplies. I have my own business, so while I was working in the office they were playing quietly painting and what not. I should have known it was TOO quiet! I walk outside to check on them and they are covered head to toe with green paint! OH WOW! I need to pay attention to these two a lil bit closer! I told them to get inside and clean up! I should have went in to help! When I went into the bathroom an hour later....my bathroom looked like green aliens. My scale, brush, toothbrush, counters, walls, toilet and mirrors were all covered in green!!! Dang! I think these kids need naps!!!! ( I wish it was that simple!) The next day I decided to take them swimming. Now living in Ca I probably don't realize that not everyone swims. I know that they are not strong swimmers so we discussed the deep end of the pool and the shallow end. We hadn't even fiinished this conversation for one minute and my niece jumps into the deep end!!! What the heck!!! I jump in fully clothed after her!!!! After pulling her out I asked, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???". I wasn't too nice about it. She started crying and told me she knows how to swim. YA RIGHT! So about 5 minutes later my daughter said, "mommy...look". She pointed in the water. My nephew is under!!! I really can't believe these kids. I jumped in and got him. I then texted my sister, "Are your kids retarded? They both have jumped into the deep end when I specifically told them to stay in the shallow end of the pool". She just laughed. (At least she wasn't offended!)

I took them swimming once more during the week, ONLY AFTER I went and got them arm floaties. My niece was tired of them by the middle of swimming . She kept asking me if she could take them off because she had mastered swimming. "Ya right! What are you, retarded?"